So, this is the month where it all happens – it’s Valentines Day, Jasper’s 4th Birthday and my 30th Birthday! I cannot quite believe I am the mother to a 4 year old; saying that, my Step Son was 12 on the 31st January. Where on earth has the time gone?

So, I wanted to think about Birthday’s and all those that we have loved and lost, and I wrote a little something for you all…

A year to remember, a year to forget,

A lifetime of love to amend and accept,

Friends and loved ones, tears of joy,

Concepts of disaster and a never ending ploy,

A household full of grief, yet a smile to brighten the day,

A way through the darkness, a moment in the grey

A life taken too quickly, yet another of first steps,

New voices and first moments to be kept,

A family of love, laughter and life,

A mother, a friend, a sister, a wife

A friend from afar, a kiss on the breeze

A never ending story with a lock but no keys.

Happy February everyone, I hope you have one full of love, laughter and happiness. Count your blessings, hug those you love a little tighter and remember time never stops, so neither should you.

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Yes, another year has passed and I am having a look back over the last (couple) of years and how much everything has changed. Apart from turning 30 (very) soon this year, there have been some big changes in my life including the birth of my lovely daughter Fluff (Fleur) and Jasper becoming even more intelligent and wonderful every day. I also learnt that twitter has changed. With an influx of complete morons unfortunately, that like to ruin lives and cause chaos. I have taken some time out, re-evaluated who I am ‘connected’ with and banned those I actually don’t want near me (in twitter land!).

I have also changed jobs – after a hellish year involving a lot of problems and battles, I am now working somewhere I really enjoy and hope to make a big difference at. I can lead teams, use my initiative and be appreciated (at last!).

I have been married 5 years this year – yes 5! I cannot quite believe how I havent killed him yet and buried him in the garden, but I would also be lonely without him!

I have been a home owner for a whole year! A whole year of being a ‘proper’ grown up, changing the look, feel and overall home has made it ‘ours’ and I know my whole little family love our home and garden.

I am turning 30…this means that when my mother said ‘you will never make it to 21 if you keep drinking like that,‘ was of course a complete lie (sorry mum!) However, I do fear that I may have pickled my liver!

My best friend got engaged (HUGE cheer here!) I am sure she won’t mind me saying that after a string of god awful boyfriends and crappy dates she found an amazing man, who is wonderful and loves her to pieces. I am excited, happy beyond belief and emotional. Emotional that she has found someone who loves her to pieces as much as I do (I do actually love her more but we will let that just sit for the moment).

So much has happened, and so much has changed. I feel older, wiser and more ‘together’ than I have for many years. I cannot wait for the coming year and the changes and happiness (okay and tears probably) that it will bring. I guess it is true what they say ‘As one door closes, another opens‘ and that ‘Life is what you make it, so smile every day, love every minute and relish every second.’

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I am turning the ripe old age of 30 next year (and that means next year is only a day away!) and I have been thinking about the top 10 things I would like to do next year if possible. So…take a breath and lets see a bit more into my crazy mind:-

1) I would like to start personal training sessions and finally combat my issues with my body image

2) I would like to learn something new (in terms of a sport) and get the time (okay, make the time) to have this as a hobby

3) I would like to read (sit down, with a book and everything) at least 3 books next year (yes 3…that is how much non-time I actually have!) okay a bit ambitious, I am happy with a kindle and books on that (I just need a kindle now)

4) I would like to be at least 2 dress size smaller by the end of the year (very achievable)

5) I would like to take Jazzy on a Red Bus in London and have a whole weekend being a sight-seer! (I can’t believe I haven’t done this yet!)

6) I would like to achieve my next career goal and hit the next goal in my salary wish

7) I would like to get the tattoo on my wrist updated with Fluffy Bum’s name and add some artwork

8) I would like to go to Ireland with the whole family (we have never been) and hopefully Amsterdam with the hubby

9) I would like to join a club (preferably a wine club) and have wine friends (happy with most alcohol clubs to be honest)

10) I would like to be able to celebrate everything with a big smile and remember life should be for living and smiling through

Do you have any goals for next year? I hope I can look back next year and have completed even 1 of these would be nice! Hey, we can all dream and why not start with achievable goals and then reach for the stars!

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So, time is narrowing and I am beginning to dread next year a little bit. Okay, not *alot* but a bit, because…I am turning 30. Yes, I too am shocked that I have made it to the ripe old age of 30. My mother often threatened to ‘kill’ me, beat me into ‘kingdom come’ and also ‘throw a party’ if I made it into teenage years, let alone out the other side and into the big 30!

It is a bit scary as I suddenly feel old. Yes, yes, I know that 30 is not that old, but why inside my head do I feel 18? I have had two beautiful children (I still can’t quite believe I am a mother of TWO!) and I have a career, hubby and a home…I suddenly feel a bit old and out-dated. I think it is because I used to go clubbing at 16 (sorry mum) and look at the 21-somethings and think ‘Wow, you are old,’ and now I am alot older than that and some.

What are the top things I have noticed when growing those grey hairs? Here are my top 5 ‘getting old’ notes on my list that yes, are a bit scary:-

1) Hangovers – even a sniff of a drink now and I have a hangover. Not just a little ‘Oooh I feel a bit odd,’ but an actual, get the will out and declare I only have a day left to live type hangovers.

2) Grey Hairs – I love being blonde. It is hard with the highlights and conditioning treatments, but the main reason I stay blonde is the grey hairs can be hidden alot easier and look silvery (part of the highlights!) underneath I am just a mass of grey hair (how depressing)

3) Wobbly bits – yes, two children, a few too many glasses (okay, bottles) of wine and not enough running around have left me with some beautiful wobbly bits. Thing is, now I am too tired and too busy to even care!

4) Judging – I am that person who says ‘are you going to wear trousers with that top?’ I have actually become my parents. I now tell girls off for going out without a coat, and tell boys that there are plenty more fish in the sea when they have been dumped. I am officially ‘old’ in my attitude (sigh)

5) Opinions – I no longer care who likes me and who doesn’t! I used to worry all the time about who is classed as a friend, a best friend a close friend…now…I simply do not care. You either like me or you don’t.

I could probably do another 5 and am going to let you know if any more crop up – but basically I feel old. Pass the zimmer frame and knee length skirts, I am officially becoming Victor Meldrew.

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Robs Birthday CupcakesSo, this weekend was the husbands birthday and as usual, I try and arrange something lovely. After a long week last week, I was really looking forward to taking the man out and spoiling him – cue the 2.5 year old….! So, Friday, Jazzy woke up a little hot and needed some magic Calpol. Drugs were administered and he was given to my mum as per usual on a Friday. He moped all day and came home Friday night a little bit worse and went straight to bed. To say we haven’t actually been to bed since Thursday night is NOT an exaggeration.

Up all night Friday night – well every 25 minutes with poorly J was not an understatement. Saturday was spent in dream world before collecting cakes from Krumblies (ummm) and then coming home for a changed evening of a Chinese Takeaway and our best friends round. I fell asleep just after 9:00pm mid movie and Jasper started waking from 11:30pm onwards. Again, at least i got 2.5 hours sleep before another night awake. Today will be spent cleaning, attempting to stand and being exhausted, ready for a full working week starting in less than 24 hours.

Just remind me, who said working was fun? Or having children? I’m exhausted, and prepared for anything today – but isn’t it funny, the more tired you are, the less you are concerned about the little stuff. For if the world caves in today – that is fine with me, as long as it leaves us alone!

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